Anger Choices Determine My Heritage and Harvest

Anger Choices Determine My Heritage and Harvest

by Dwight Cunkle 

    Sixteen years ago I brought home The Anger Workbook to use in family meetings.

 We still joke about what a disaster it was. However, if I had been able to lead us through the principles of 

managing emotional choices we’d have handled frustrations and relationships better.

     In dangerous or abusive situations, fight or flight is the right choice. However, in most daily life situations 

we can either choose to act out our anger in aggressive and potentially harmful ways; or, we can choose to act

 in assertiveness yet with sensitivity to the other people involved. This choices are rooted in the following: 

1. How we feel we have been treated: Have I been abused, or actually trained how to manage my emotions 

in healthy ways? Either way healing and forgiveness are hard. I can receive mercy and grace by giving it. 

2. How we see others: If pride controls me I may see others or their opinions as inferior to mine. If I feel 

inferior to them I either play the one-up-manship-game, in order to feel better about me, or I may shut-down 

verbally or emotionally. How do I see those who irritate me? Is it my job to “fix” them or their work? 

Really!?!?

3. How we see ourselves: Is my self-worth based in God’s love and purpose for me-that I bear God’s image 

or on my performance? What kind of person do I want to be, regardless of if others actually change?

Exchange Bad Harvest for Good Heritage: God gave His Son because He values us as his sons and 

daughters, regardless of my circumstances and performance. We can bring our frustrations to Jesus at the 

cross, like a bad harvest. In repentance ask for what Christ will say and give in it’s place. (Phil 2 Christ already 

exchanged himself for us and has a better heritage to give). 

This is #13 in the series on The Anger Trap: How to free ourselves from the frustrations that sabotage life and relationships, based on the book by Dr. Les Carter. To see the back entries go to Covenantlifechurch.com and click on our blog “Pastor’s Corner.”

Love Becoming and You Will Become Loving

 Love Becoming and You Will Become Loving

by Dwight Cunkle

______________  listed reasons to help herself make good emotional response choices:

 “If I choose bitterness I can make myself feel superior to ______. He wouldn’t change but I could quietly gloat over my higher reasoning. But by accepting, forgiving and overlooking I could stop keeping score of right vrs wrong; I wouldn’t feel so drained over petty things; I could move to more pleasant thoughts like appreciation and happiness.
 “If I choose to continue the same non-productive ways of anger I will feel more hopeless and hurt. But if I use “brave communication” to resolve conflict it will mean hard work and time and risking my feelings.
 “If I continue to use blaming “You statements” (You make me feel…) instead of taking responsibility“I statements (When you quietly ignore me like last night I feel of little value or importance like something on a bookshelf gathering dust,) I will regret not trying to resolve conflict and have better relationships.” 

     She faced the truth that forgiveness and acceptance don’t excuse other people’s bad behavior or remove pain. But she saw that by taking memories and feelings to the cross she could receive more of Christ’s perspective and power (mercy and grace). Best of all, she could grow in love. She could both receive God’s love and choose to act more lovingly toward others. In turn, Carol began to feel more love, freedom, peace and courage to continue this new way of responding uprightly.
     As her heart became more whole and her mind less cluttered, she could meditate and contemplate Christ instead of feel trapped in her wounds and regrets. She could begin to know what God is really like. She wanted to know Him more.
Sharing Jesus’ Pain: even though she was changing others may not, could not or would not. She couldn’t “force them to change.” It was back to the cross….

The “Right” to a Happy New Year Comes When I Exercise the Privilege to Forgive

The “Right” to a Happy New Year Comes When I
Exercise the Privilege to Forgive

by Dwight Cunkle 

based on The Anger Trap by Carter

Forgiveness and acceptance reduce anger. Don't cling to fantasies expectations and demands about your right to be treated fairly let alone squarely. Anger is fed by your “shock reaction.” You must guard your heart against any bitter root negativity and bad expectation or they will grow with in you like a bad seed and branch out into a poisonous plant.

Instead, choose to change your responses. To avoid bitter fruit in your life you can choose the privilege of acceptance and forgiveness. They are not a duty forced on you as if you were a victim or martyr. You can choose to bring your pain and disappointment to the cross of Jesus Christ. He paid for our sins and provides healing for our wounds in his own.

Assertiveness doesn't always generate the results I desire; in fact, it can backfire. But, by bringing my conflicts to the cross I can trust the love of God to guide me in making good choices. Forgiveness and acceptance reduce anger, especially because some conflicts remain unresolved satisfactorily. My insistence on having my way, my rights, or even closure entrap me and trip me up in the foul mood of unresolved anger. On the other hand assertiveness can be walked out with love for others while we can still be firm in our choices and boundaries.

I am in control of my choices, especially how I respond when others react or ignore my desires. Bitterness is a choice but acceptance and forgiveness is a better choice. As we sow shall we reap. God's grace is given to the humble; His mercy to the merciful.

Choose forgiveness and acceptance and choose to have good boundaries at the same time. You will have much more happiness and peace.

What do you most want this New Year?

Joy, Glad Tidings, Good News for all People

Joy, Glad Tidings, Good News for all People

    We think of joy in terms of things and relationships: home, presents, food baskets, meals, time together, visiting people, even going Christmas caroling to those who may be alone or ill.  But to a people oppressed, joy means the arrival of deliverance and justice.  The Jews had both a memory of a “golden age” of peace and prosperity (King Solomon), plus thousands of years of prophecy concerning the glory and dominion and abundant blessing that their Messiah would bring to them.  This week, step with them, out of their need into the joy of His coming.

    Joy comes to those in trouble, who wait, devoted to the Lord
...your love, O LORD, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul (Ps 94:18-19 NIV).  Simeon was devout and just, lead by the Holy Spirit, waiting for the “Consolation of Israel” (Lk 2:25).  Now, he could die in peace—for what do you wait?
    Joy is a gift from God:  This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?  26To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness (Eccl 2:24-26).  To Zacharias, God promised joy, gladness and rejoicing for many, through the son he was giving to them (Lk 1:14).  Lord, forgive my lack of joy.
    Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23).  Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and the babe in her womb leaped for joy, at just hearing the sound of Mary’s greeting (Luke 1: 41-44).  Fill us anew with Holy Spirit joy.
    Joy is a choice, along with faith, hope and love—a choice enabled by the grace of God (diving enabling power).  I choose joy!
...through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ… by faith into this grace… And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God… we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance character; and character, hope.  5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us (Rom 5:1-5).  Lord, help us rejoice even in suffering—growing by faith in His grace.
    Those who know pain, and embrace it, can understand true joy.  It is hard for us to comprehend the persevering desire of those who looked for Messiah to come.  Consider that in the face of her own suffering to come, Mary could rejoice, for all Israel waited in hope:  “My soul magnifies the Lord, 47And my spirit has rejoiced in God my savior.  48For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant… 52He has put down the mighty from their thrones, And exalted the low (Lk 1:46-52).  Lord, fill my soul and spirit with joy in You, regardless of the circumstances?
    Joy is brought to men through God’s News: I gave to Jerusalem a messenger of good tidings (Is 41:27).  God delights in using the poor, and outcasts as his witnesses (Lk 2:10).  How beautiful are feet bringing peace.
    Share his joy by sharing with someone this week, the Good News of God’s Kingdom, and heaven’s joy of new birth.  (Lk 15:7)   

                                 -PD
   

   

Angels we have heard:He shall come with heaven’s Angels

Angels we have heard: 

He shall come with heaven’s Angels

    The most angel activity recorded in history is around the birth of Christ.  Eight angel messages: to old and young, to Jew and Gentile.  In addition to other recorded events, we read that the Holy Spirit caused the baby John to leap in Elizabeth’s womb, in response to Mary’s greeting (Lk 1:41-44).  Then the Holy Spirit directed Simeon and Anna to the temple to see the newborn Messiah (Luke 2:26-35, 36-38).  Finally, we have the miraculous star guiding wise men from afar (Matt 2:1-2).

    In past revivals and current visitations, there have been reports of angel activity, along with dreams, visions, and miraculous signs.  In Muslim and native villages, appearances of Jesus and angels open peoples’ hearts to believe and obey.  The Bible says we are in the last days (Acts 2:17), even the last hour (I John 2:18).  People are excited about angels and revelations, but not necessarily about obedience.
    you should remember the predictions of the holy     prophets     and the commandment of the Lord and Savior through your     apostles.  3First of all you must understand this, that scoffers     will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own     passions 4and saying, “Where is the promise of his coming?”     RSV 2 Peter 3:2-4

    The issue for us is not whether we see angels or special signs, but that we prepare ourselves for his return, through the obedience of faith.
    So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will     come at an hour when you do not expect him.  45”Who then     is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in     charge of the servants in his household to give them their     food     at the proper time?  46It will be good for that servant whose     master finds him doing so when he returns.  NIV Matt 24:44-46

Read these angels’ appearances and be encouraged that Christ is coming again, with all the angels of heaven (Matt 13 and 2 Thess 2:17)
Lk 1:11-21 Gabriel to Zacharias, that he and Elizabeth would have a son who would be the forerunner of Messiah.
Lk 1:26-38 Gabriel to Mary, Elizabeth’s cousin, announcing she would be the mother of Jesus.
Mt 1:20-24 an angel of the Lord to Joseph, saying to fear not to marry Mary, “for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.”
Lk 2:9-15 an angel of the Lord to the shepherds, announcing Jesus’ birth
Mt 2:12 God warns the three wise men not to return to Herod.
Mt 2:13 an angel of the Lord warns Joseph to flee from Herod to Egypt.
Mt 2:19 an angel of the Lord tells Joseph in a dream, “return to Israel.”
Mt 2:22 God tells Joseph again in a dream, turn aside to Galilee instead of Judea

God still speaks today.  Angels watch and help wise men hear, worship and obey (Heb 1:7 and Psalm 104:4).

   

OLD TESTAMENT PROPHECIES OF MESSIAH AND THEIR FULFILLMENT IN THE NEW TESTAMENT

OLD TESTAMENT PROPHECIES OF MESSIAH AND THEIR FULFILLMENT 

IN THE NEW TESTAMENT

This fulfilled the prophet’s prediction… Matt 2:15

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem…  

Gal 4:4 NIV

    Each day this week I encourage you to read aloud from prophecies below, along with their fulfillment.  No other religion has the miracle of God’s Word.  Only the One, True, God of Gods, revealed His purposes through prophesy, then perfectly fulfilled them.  Faith comes by hearing the word.  Your faith will grow this Advent, as you believe, obey and fulfill the puposes of Messiah in your life.  In this way, we prepare for His second coming.  Thy Kingdom come.  Thy will be done.  Come, Lord Jesus.

Who:  Emmanuel, God with us—Is 7:14 & Lk 2:21
           Branch of Jesse: Gen 49:11; Is 11:1-2; Jer 23:15; Jn 15:1-2
    (Branch also means Nazarene, fulfilled in Matt 2:23)
           of the tribe of David: Ps 89:35; Lk 1:69, 2:11; Rev 22:16
           Lion of Judah, root of David: Gen 49:10 & Rev 5:5

Why:  He would come: Savior—Matt 1:21; Heb 2:9-17; and Lord,
bringing the kingdom of God Dan 7:13-14;
    Ps 110; Mt 4:17; Mt 28:18; Rev 5:10
    He would reign as Priest who saves: Zech 6:11-13;
    Heb 9:28; as Prophet bringing the Word of God:
    Deut 18:15; Matt 24; and King of Kings, Prince of Peace: 2 Sam 7:12; Is 9:6-7; Mt 2:2; Heb 7:15-17

What He would do: To fulfill the covenant: Gen 3:15, 12:3, 17:7;
    Jer 31:31-34; Heb 8:12-13, 9:14-15
    “It is written of me in the Book”: Ps 40:6-7; Heb 10:7
   
Where from:  Bethlehem: Micah 5:2-4; Luke 2:4
    Egypt: Hosea 11:1; Mt 2:15
    Nazareth: Is 11:1; Mt 2:23

How born:  Is 7:14-16; Lk 1:26-35; Jn 1:14

When: John: Is 40:3-5; Lk 3:1-6; Simeon: Lk 2:25-30

With what signs: In sky: Zech 9:9; Num 24:17; Mt 2:2
    In manger: Is 7:14; Lk

The Forerunner

The Forerunner

He will turn the hearts of fathers to children, and the

disobedient, the incredulous, and unpersuadable to the knowledge and holy love of the will of God, to make ready a people for the Lord [perfectly] prepared [in spirit, adjusted and disposed and placed in the right moral state].

(Mal 4:5-6, Is 40:3 and Luke 1:17 AMP)

    This week read how John came preparing the way of the Lord.  Pray the fulfillment of this amazing promise above—the turning of hearts of fathers and children and unbelieving, in preparation for His second coming.  WOW!  What a prayer to pray!
    Who do you need to speak that promise over?  Does your heart need turned toward your children or toward your parents?  Are you praying for a prodigal?  Look how John
fulfilled the prophecies about him, and let your faith and hope be encouraged this week!

Who:  Elijah must come first.  Mal 4:5-6 & Lk 1:17, 76-79

About his birth:  filled with the Spirit in the womb.  Lk 1:15 & 41

What will he be like:
    - A hairy man with leather belt:  2 Kings 1:8 & Matt 3:4
   
    - Eating locusts:  Lev 11:22 & Mt 3:4

    - Where from:  the wilderness.  Is 40:3 & Lk 1:80 & 3:2

What message:  Repent for the kingdom of God is coming.
    Lk 3:7-14; 7:27

Messiah will purify with fire:  Mal 3:1-2, 4:1-2; & Lk 3:16-17

So that:  the glory of the Lord be revealed.  Is 40:5 & Jn 1:14

The end of the old and the coming of the kingdom:  “No prophet greater than John but the least in the kingdom is greater than him”  Luke 7:28