BE AWARE, UNDERSTAND, TAKE ACTION

BE AWARE, UNDERSTAND, TAKE ACTION

By Dwight Cunkle

When a person decides to know; love God and do his will they experience both resistance and help. Discerning the enemy’s tactics help us resist him and go further on with Jesus.

Examples of enemy resistance from the world, flesh and devil include the following:

-Unsettling anxieties, diminishing peace
- Diminishing energy and strength to do the good
-Sadness and discouragement without knowing why
-Dullness, hardness or lack of motivation to pray, lack of interest in spiritual life, losing heart
-Obstacles and difficulties in daily life and temptations which add up to come against us with negative self-talk; “How can I continue to do good?” or, “Look what you are giving up or won’t be able to do.”
-False reasonings bring confusion, hopelessness, failure: “It’s my fault that I am not better because I should be”
-Feelings of division, unresolved hurts, critical spirit, judgments, negative interpretations of what others think, loneliness or feelings of being misunderstood.
-Fears: of failure, of rejection, of the devil or more resistance, or even fear of success and the responsibility



Examples of how God’s grace and good spirits help us overcome: 

-Experience God’s love uplifting us in faith, hope, joy, peace (even if only briefly)
-Courage to face the enemy’s resistance and continue God’s will
-Strength of God’s love lifting the heart
-Consolations of God’s love giving a new ease and increase in love for others which also uplifts us
-Tears of comfort from the movement of God’s love and closeness or overwhelming gratitude for his love in Jesus
-Inspirations, illuminations and spiritual clarity to see and overcome confusion
-Quiet Strength and peace of heart even in activity
-Grace removes obstacles, inspires an gives hope
-Faith and joy uprising in the midst of the enemy’s taunts

Go further on with the resurrected Christ and resist

the desolations of our enemy whom he has defeated.

WHY PEOPLE REMAIN TRAPPED IN ANGER

WHY PEOPLE REMAIN TRAPPED IN ANGER

By Dwight Cunkle

Part eight based on The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter


Eph 4:25-27 25 ...each of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan to answer the question of love and boundaries. The social outcast (Samaritan) had plenty of reason to avoid the stranger in the ditch. The religious persons in the story passed on by, but he was willing to be interrupted (he went near to the one in need and touched him). The Samaritan chose to get involved (inconvenience changed his plan). He personally invested his own resources without expectation of being paid back. He could have reacted with judgment and anger and self-protection but instead he modeled love. He extended his personal boundary to include a stranger from a group different than his own, and he acted in compassion. 

To be a good neighbor means to be free from prejudice, past hurts, and to be willing to allow God to open my heart to receive and to give His agape’ love.
Review from previous weeks:
Understand the positive purpose of anger.
Become aware of the choice to handle anger in a healthy or unhealthy way: assertiveness combined with sensitivity to others. Choose not to suppress anger, be openly aggressive or resort to passive-anger (silence, poor work ethic, complaining, making excuses, blaming others, feeling like a victim, feeling sorry for myself or shunning accountability.
How am I influenced by family patterns to treat me and others with respect or defensive reactions?
Become aware of insecurity, pride, self-absorption, fear of being disrespected or devalued as a person, and myths I may believe about anger.

The purpose of anger is to preserve or protect. Anger is tied to the craving for love, admiration and significance-sometimes it is a cry to be relieved from pain of insecurity, pride, self-absorption, fear.

Mismanaged Anger and the Pride of Self-Absorption

Mismanaged Anger and the 

Pride of Self-Absorption     

  

  by Pastor Dwight

Part six based on The Anger Trap by Dr Les Carter

Anger is tied to the craving for love, admiration and significance-sometimes it is 

a cry to be relieved from pain. To relate to others with respect or disrespect 

indicates the degree to which we are free from self-absorbed pride.

 Note the exalted “I” imprisoned here: prIde &  sIn 

“Positive Pride”: a parent or leader may feel pride in their children or team and express affirmation of their character.

The “Prison of Pride”: self-absorption is a prison of selfish, self-centered, insecurity, which often stems from unresolved hurts, pain or fears. These strongholds are protected by pride.
We become so inwardly focused that it isn’t just about persevering our needs but we can act smug, un-teachable, rudely, hurtful or mean. Our pride justifies our sinful way of mismanaging anger, instead of humbling ourselves and being assertive in a constructive way about our needs or feelings.

All of us need to Exchange Pride with Humility in Christ: If we say we have no denial or self-protection in us then we are in bigger trouble than we know. But if we admit our need for the mind of Christ (humility) He can help us choose to exchange our prideful ways of control and reaction with his own fruit of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, etc…

Pride on display in Debates: Vice-President Joe Biden treated Paul Ryan with condescension, sarcasm and at times mean anger. President Obama in the first debate was sulky and avoided eye contact with Romney which also showed disrespect. Romney and Ryan don’t always act humble any more than you or I do. But it is easy to see why this administration have fomented division, class envy, blame, irresponsibility and anger. Wisdom and blessing are not present when leaders are filled with self-absorbing pride.

The strong person admits fault in order to improve. Humility is not a “milk-toast doormat.” Christ. acted with righteous anger which was helpful and attractive to the humble.

Going home can feel different

8.3.2010

I remember walking out on a frozen pond that though familiar felt unsure – each footfall needed assurance as I moved; assurance that I could put my weight down because again, although it was familiar it felt different.

Another difference in returning home is that things feel “smaller.” Because my perspective and experience have widened things like rooms or a school and sometimes even people seem to have shrunk somehow. Because my life and thoughts have broadened, and because more people and memories have found places in my heart, it seems less space is devoted to former things. Though no less precious compared to the new they yet feel as if they occupy a smaller part of my thinking and feeling.

A third difference is more painful - that some people may not accept that I have changed. They may “want the old me” or “liked old me” better. I am not controlled by their expectations though I love them. They may choose to grow with me just as I may have to choose to “catch up” with some others. But in reality I am not the same and I can not go back the same way I came out.

Walking on ice, accepting things as being smaller to me without comparing negatively to my new experiences and perspective, the fact that I need to cope with the possibility of me not being accepted and my own need to get to know people all over again can make “going home” re-entry confusing.

All of this is part of growing up and becoming more emotionally whole as an adult. I learn to relate to others as adult to adult instead of child to parent or acting parental or condescending, and perhaps most importantly—no more whining.

Rather than expect them to pick back up old places and roles: Listen to their story—all of their story—respond in a way that shows you value them and their journey-ask how you can become part of the new chapters.

Hopefully I can find a hearing-heart-someone who will walk through these uncertainties and more especially the sorrow places in my heart, being a good listener—not just a teller. Hopefully I can have a hearing heart to others as well. We will tell our stories and listen to those who want to tell us theirs without feeling the need to fix or change what obviously has changed. Good friends remember that things can never be exactly as they used to be because we are changing.

Remember that we will all benefit through the shared pain and rediscovered joys of why we loved a particular place, people and experiences.

We still love the “old” even more dearly though things may feel “smaller.”

And we love those who have been “large” in our hearts, and are now far away. Love is like that—familiarity diminishes love but absence does make the heart grow fonder. So our shared love and memories go with us, the same way our families and “hometown” came with us into this season.

In going home we find that both we and home have changed. What has not changed is that all the shared moments of faith, hope and love are not lost or over. They are eternally gathered and shared in the heart of God. And we will meet there again and always. For He is our true heart’s home.

PD