Five R’s toward Joyful Change (Repent & Redirect)

Our theme Scripture Luke 15:10: there is joy in God’s presence over one who repents (changes their mind and amends their ways). This is not a new year’s resolution but is being intentional and resolute to share the joy God in us by humbling ourselves, detaching from the world and being transformed in His love. Here are some things to examine as we participate in and are united with the body and blood of Jesus our Lord.

1. Red Flags: recognize “Triggers” and take a step that HALTS a pattern of sin. Example: if tired get better rest; if stressed exercise; take steps to get support.

H=hungry for love/satisfaction;

A=angry/frustration;

L=lonely/insecure;

T=tired;

S=stressed or depressed.

2. Reflex: interrupt the unhealthy habitual reflex. Stop/slow down/breathe/be still/meditate.

3. Ritual: instead of moving toward the unhealthy thing or sin pattern, substitute it with a phone call or visit for accountability or to do good for someone else. Practice God’s presence and receive and give God’s love.

4. Result: remind yourself of the negative result of the habitual sin (shame, guilt, humiliation, bondage or fearful consequence). Realize you can make different choices than the reoccurring bondage.

5. Repentance into mind renewal: Above are four steps of repentance but they are incomplete without change in both conscious and unconscious thought patterns. Biblical transformational change is progressive, one moment at a time. We gradually know Him better, love Him more and use our bodies and all created things for his glory. We participate in His likeness and image. True repentance moves forward from asking for merciful forgiveness into profiting from receiving the “power of his grace that teaches us to say, ‘No,’ to sin.” 
   
   
   
   
   -PD
   
   
   
   
    

CHANGE TO CHANGE

CHANGE TO CHANGE

by Dwight Cunkle

Our only hope of change is to change. Change our direction in repentance from seeking our own way to seeking God. Seeking spiritual changes within us will cost us detachment from worldly things but lead to true satisfaction and fruitfulness.

Psalm 63

1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

    my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

    beholding your power and glory.

3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,

    my lips will praise you.

4 So I will bless you as long as I live;

    in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

6 when I remember you upon my bed,

    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

7 for you have been my help,

    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

8 My soul clings to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

Read the Psalm slowly noticing the contrast between thirst and satisfaction in God.

It seems that they are linked together. On the other hand, the more I fill myself with earthly things the less room in my soul for God and I am still hungry.

Hunger is the opposite of having no desire - being complacent or self-dependent.

We used to sing a song, “Only You can satisfy.” An even older song was “Fill my cup, Lord. I lift it up, Lord. Come and quench this thirsting in my soul.”

What does it mean to be hungry and thirsty for God? I am well acquainted with trying to find fulfillment and satisfaction in the things or even relationships in this world. The prophet Jeremiah called it trying to drink from broken cisterns. On the other hand when I seek God with my whole heart “the things of this world become strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”

How hungry am I? Look at our present life, friends, family, church, culture to see how hungry we actually are for God. This is us asking, seeking and knocking.

But if from there you will seek (inquire for and require as necessity) the Lord your God, you will find Him if you [truly] seek Him with all your heart [and mind] and soul and life. When you are in tribulation and all these things come upon you, in the latter days you will turn to the Lord your God and be obedient to His voice. (Deuteronomy 4:29, 30 AMP)

As you have therefore received Christ, [even] Jesus the Lord, [so] walk (regulate your lives and conduct yourselves) in union with and conformity to Him. Have the roots [of your being] firmly and deeply planted [in Him, fixed and founded in Him], being continually built up in Him, becoming increasingly more confirmed and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and abounding and overflowing in it with thanksgiving. (Colossians 2:6, 7 AMP)

At that time [when that day comes] you will know [for yourselves] that I am in My Father, and you [are] in Me, and I [am] in you. (John 14:20 AMP)

The Forerunner

The Forerunner

He will turn the hearts of fathers to children, and the

disobedient, the incredulous, and unpersuadable to the knowledge and holy love of the will of God, to make ready a people for the Lord [perfectly] prepared [in spirit, adjusted and disposed and placed in the right moral state].

(Mal 4:5-6, Is 40:3 and Luke 1:17 AMP)

    This week read how John came preparing the way of the Lord.  Pray the fulfillment of this amazing promise above—the turning of hearts of fathers and children and unbelieving, in preparation for His second coming.  WOW!  What a prayer to pray!
    Who do you need to speak that promise over?  Does your heart need turned toward your children or toward your parents?  Are you praying for a prodigal?  Look how John
fulfilled the prophecies about him, and let your faith and hope be encouraged this week!

Who:  Elijah must come first.  Mal 4:5-6 & Lk 1:17, 76-79

About his birth:  filled with the Spirit in the womb.  Lk 1:15 & 41

What will he be like:
    - A hairy man with leather belt:  2 Kings 1:8 & Matt 3:4
   
    - Eating locusts:  Lev 11:22 & Mt 3:4

    - Where from:  the wilderness.  Is 40:3 & Lk 1:80 & 3:2

What message:  Repent for the kingdom of God is coming.
    Lk 3:7-14; 7:27

Messiah will purify with fire:  Mal 3:1-2, 4:1-2; & Lk 3:16-17

So that:  the glory of the Lord be revealed.  Is 40:5 & Jn 1:14

The end of the old and the coming of the kingdom:  “No prophet greater than John but the least in the kingdom is greater than him”  Luke 7:28

SHIFTING OUR PARADIGM OF ANGER

SHIFTING OUR PARADIGM OF ANGER

By Dwight Cunkle

Part nine based on The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter

Anger has a positive purpose when not “hijacked” by fear, pride, denial or blame-shifting. This week we look at the power of choosing to face Reality that the world often is not what we want and is always beyond our ability to control. But we can choose how we respond, beginning with letting go of our illusions and shock when life and people are hard. As we accept pain and disappointment we can respond with truth and love. When we abide in God’s love we can choose to love others while speaking the truth to them.

Eph 4:25-27 ...each of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

Signs of unrealistic expectations and demands of others:

I can’t believe….
Why cant you just…
I don’t understand why….

When statements like these are followed by a tendency to brood or act out in ways that are hurtful to those around us we can recognize that we have unrealistic demands on life

Two sources of anger from our past:
1. Chronic mistreatment or unresolved friction in our childhood. May influence us to look to the future with vows and illusions, “One of these days….”.
2. Some adults look back on childhood as almost perfect. Anxiety and frustration grow as they are unable to reproduce such perfection in their own home and lives.

Assertive anger uses firmness with calmness and gentleness. Facing reality and facing other people with respect means we choose to not keep score and not keep hold of an unrealistic sense of entitlement about how others and life should treat us.

Bottom line: we need to bring everything to the cross of Jesus Christ. Who is never shocked and sees the end from the beginning. His faithful love never fails.

WHY PEOPLE REMAIN TRAPPED IN ANGER

WHY PEOPLE REMAIN TRAPPED IN ANGER

By Dwight Cunkle

Part eight based on The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter


Eph 4:25-27 25 ...each of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan to answer the question of love and boundaries. The social outcast (Samaritan) had plenty of reason to avoid the stranger in the ditch. The religious persons in the story passed on by, but he was willing to be interrupted (he went near to the one in need and touched him). The Samaritan chose to get involved (inconvenience changed his plan). He personally invested his own resources without expectation of being paid back. He could have reacted with judgment and anger and self-protection but instead he modeled love. He extended his personal boundary to include a stranger from a group different than his own, and he acted in compassion. 

To be a good neighbor means to be free from prejudice, past hurts, and to be willing to allow God to open my heart to receive and to give His agape’ love.
Review from previous weeks:
Understand the positive purpose of anger.
Become aware of the choice to handle anger in a healthy or unhealthy way: assertiveness combined with sensitivity to others. Choose not to suppress anger, be openly aggressive or resort to passive-anger (silence, poor work ethic, complaining, making excuses, blaming others, feeling like a victim, feeling sorry for myself or shunning accountability.
How am I influenced by family patterns to treat me and others with respect or defensive reactions?
Become aware of insecurity, pride, self-absorption, fear of being disrespected or devalued as a person, and myths I may believe about anger.

The purpose of anger is to preserve or protect. Anger is tied to the craving for love, admiration and significance-sometimes it is a cry to be relieved from pain of insecurity, pride, self-absorption, fear.

When Truth Comes

By Dr. Richard Lineberry

In the book, Well Intentioned Dragons, Marshall Shelley comments on the “dragon of personal criticism,” by saying we must pay attention to the criticism that is leveled towards us from time to time.  “Solitary shots should be ignored but when they come from several different directions, it’s time to pay attention.  If someone calls you a mule, ignore him.  If two people call you a mule, look for hoof prints.  If three people call you a mule, get a saddle.”

Proverbs 9:8 says “reprove a wise man and he will love you.”  It is, however, one of the ways God uses to improve us.  When truth first comes to us, it is often in a negative form because we really don’t see ourselves as others see us.  That’s the problem!  God speaks to us as we really are while we often try to act like someone we aren’t.  God speaks to me at the reality place, not the wishful place I think I occupy.

The hope of the Christian is to be transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit into the image of Christ.  That is a lifetime process, not a single experience.  There is lots of unraveling to do on the inside of us.  Remember the story of how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead?  As soon as he came out of his grave, Christ gave the order to remove the grave clothes.  When we give our lives to the Lord, He wants us to disassociate ourselves from everything that smacks of our old nature.  For that to happen, we must hear God’s Word and believe that what He says about us is true and trust that He will change us into new, different and better people.  A change in our thinking about God, ourselves and others is part of the program.  The ways we react to difficulties and fears change as we draw closer to the Savior.  Overall, the change is for the best.  From the Gospels, we see Christ’s life so much different than our own and usually wonder how we could ever be like Him.  We must remember that He has given us His Holy Spirit to bring glorious changes in us.  If we stay faithful, we become people equipped with heavenly resources for the best kind of life.  Let us not despise the correction that comes from the Lord.  Like a loving parent, He has better things for us. 

 

My prayer for us today is that God’s Spirit will bring healing and spiritual freedom that we may walk more closely with Him.

Palm Sunday - clash between 

old and new thinking.

Old self-effort religion can be exchanged for the new way of thinking and living in oneness with God and one another - this is God’s love and the fellowship of Holy Spirit and grace of Jesus Christ.

Today present yourselves to God (heart and mind); don’t be conformed to world but to Christ. Open the mind gate for the King to come in. (Psalm 24, Rom 12)

(with permission I drew this from Tim McCoy’s journal)
Our mind is a tool at our disposal. It is possible to decondition. How we use it today is only the result of a habit that can be exchanged for a new one, as long as the change is desired or it is accepted that change is possible.  Take a moment of silence in my mind and think about this idea: "My mind is a tool I can use as I see fit" " Assertion: "Even though I'm afraid, I can act. I can change course at any time. I can trust God, even if I do not know in advance the results of my choice."

God lives in us and this Holy Spirit is an incredible strength and intelligence. He knows and loves us and comes alongside our struggles.  You can access this strength through conscious choice and strengthen your ability to change.  This “examen” is the process of becoming conscious and empowering change. Cease, now, to think according to our old schemas. 

When they float to the surface, I say to my mind:  "I now choose to think it has become easier for me to make changes."

The old thoughts of fatalism or despondence are good for nothing, they are part of the past and all I have to do is to do away with such and no longer apply as relevant the old experiences/ thoughts or accept their power. After all, they brought me to the sin I wish now to escape.

I can just imagine a small child on whom I've never imposed a time to retire to sleep. One day I decided that from now on bedtime will be every night at eight o'clock. What happens on the first night? My child will revolt against this new rule, protest, cry and try to stay up as late as possible. If I give in that first time, he will have won and always seek to have the upper hand. However, if I keep my mind firmly, gradually the will and freedom of roving thoughts will decrease the revolt and I establish a new routine for the child.

The process is comparable to my mind. Obviously our mind will rebel at first. But if I stay focused and determined, it will take some time for a new mental structure to be established but it will change.  I must not give in the first time.  This is the discipline.  Believe and act today. 

Assertion: "My reactions or rebellious ways are normal, I accept and let go and let God's way reign."

Application to abide together in His truth and love:
1. I present and open my heart and mind to God like a great gate, saying, “Come in King of Glory.”
2. I ask, “What habit of old thinking is your Holy Spirit helping me examine now, and with some new word and way?
3. I choose: “I exchange old dead “agreements” with what You want me to be and what You are saying and doing, In me; In my marriage and relationships; In our church. 
4. I ask not only for a new mind (repentance) but joy and peace. 

God present, pruning and producing.

Going home can feel different

8.3.2010

I remember walking out on a frozen pond that though familiar felt unsure – each footfall needed assurance as I moved; assurance that I could put my weight down because again, although it was familiar it felt different.

Another difference in returning home is that things feel “smaller.” Because my perspective and experience have widened things like rooms or a school and sometimes even people seem to have shrunk somehow. Because my life and thoughts have broadened, and because more people and memories have found places in my heart, it seems less space is devoted to former things. Though no less precious compared to the new they yet feel as if they occupy a smaller part of my thinking and feeling.

A third difference is more painful - that some people may not accept that I have changed. They may “want the old me” or “liked old me” better. I am not controlled by their expectations though I love them. They may choose to grow with me just as I may have to choose to “catch up” with some others. But in reality I am not the same and I can not go back the same way I came out.

Walking on ice, accepting things as being smaller to me without comparing negatively to my new experiences and perspective, the fact that I need to cope with the possibility of me not being accepted and my own need to get to know people all over again can make “going home” re-entry confusing.

All of this is part of growing up and becoming more emotionally whole as an adult. I learn to relate to others as adult to adult instead of child to parent or acting parental or condescending, and perhaps most importantly—no more whining.

Rather than expect them to pick back up old places and roles: Listen to their story—all of their story—respond in a way that shows you value them and their journey-ask how you can become part of the new chapters.

Hopefully I can find a hearing-heart-someone who will walk through these uncertainties and more especially the sorrow places in my heart, being a good listener—not just a teller. Hopefully I can have a hearing heart to others as well. We will tell our stories and listen to those who want to tell us theirs without feeling the need to fix or change what obviously has changed. Good friends remember that things can never be exactly as they used to be because we are changing.

Remember that we will all benefit through the shared pain and rediscovered joys of why we loved a particular place, people and experiences.

We still love the “old” even more dearly though things may feel “smaller.”

And we love those who have been “large” in our hearts, and are now far away. Love is like that—familiarity diminishes love but absence does make the heart grow fonder. So our shared love and memories go with us, the same way our families and “hometown” came with us into this season.

In going home we find that both we and home have changed. What has not changed is that all the shared moments of faith, hope and love are not lost or over. They are eternally gathered and shared in the heart of God. And we will meet there again and always. For He is our true heart’s home.

PD