Anger Choices Determine My Heritage and Harvest

Anger Choices Determine My Heritage and Harvest

by Dwight Cunkle 

    Sixteen years ago I brought home The Anger Workbook to use in family meetings.

 We still joke about what a disaster it was. However, if I had been able to lead us through the principles of 

managing emotional choices we’d have handled frustrations and relationships better.

     In dangerous or abusive situations, fight or flight is the right choice. However, in most daily life situations 

we can either choose to act out our anger in aggressive and potentially harmful ways; or, we can choose to act

 in assertiveness yet with sensitivity to the other people involved. This choices are rooted in the following: 

1. How we feel we have been treated: Have I been abused, or actually trained how to manage my emotions 

in healthy ways? Either way healing and forgiveness are hard. I can receive mercy and grace by giving it. 

2. How we see others: If pride controls me I may see others or their opinions as inferior to mine. If I feel 

inferior to them I either play the one-up-manship-game, in order to feel better about me, or I may shut-down 

verbally or emotionally. How do I see those who irritate me? Is it my job to “fix” them or their work? 

Really!?!?

3. How we see ourselves: Is my self-worth based in God’s love and purpose for me-that I bear God’s image 

or on my performance? What kind of person do I want to be, regardless of if others actually change?

Exchange Bad Harvest for Good Heritage: God gave His Son because He values us as his sons and 

daughters, regardless of my circumstances and performance. We can bring our frustrations to Jesus at the 

cross, like a bad harvest. In repentance ask for what Christ will say and give in it’s place. (Phil 2 Christ already 

exchanged himself for us and has a better heritage to give). 

This is #13 in the series on The Anger Trap: How to free ourselves from the frustrations that sabotage life and relationships, based on the book by Dr. Les Carter. To see the back entries go to Covenantlifechurch.com and click on our blog “Pastor’s Corner.”

PAIN ALSO SERVES A PURPOSE

PAIN ALSO SERVES A PURPOSE

By Dwight Cunkle

Part ten based on The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter

Last week we looked at “myths” that can cause unhealthy and anger-either hidden and passive or openly
aggressive.

Believing and demanding wrong ideals leads to disillusionment, vows like “I will never…” and bitter-root judgments which poison our interpretation of others.

“I need people to treat me fairly,” needs replaced with,“I can manage my anger despite others’ flaws.”
“Being forceful is a sign of strength,” can be replaced with “Gentleness and listening humbly show strength.”
“Accepting or showing weakness means defeat,” Can be replaced with, “Accepting mine and others’ weaknesses the maturity and emotional health I want.”

A key is to not build my self-esteem on what I think I deserve or what privileges to which I feel entitled. As we saw in this past election that always leads to anger and poor decisions. It is healthier to focus on my responsibilities which means I also need to face and accept pain. People who are often hurting others have probably not come to terms with their own inner agony.

Pain can have a redemptive purpose-protecting us from worse injury to ourselves and others.

The cross is the place for our pain since Jesus bore it. The cross is the place of exchange of our rights for his good.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.

Let pain bring you to Christ’s wounds. Come to Jesus’ side and ask healing from deep wounds. Ask grace to give and receive forgiveness.  Exchange life with Jesus.

Creating a Culture of Honor Requires
the Touch Of The Master's Hand

You may know the story of the auctioneer who could not get a bid on an old violin until an elderly man interrupted the bidding, picked it up and began to play it beautifully. Immediately the value of the bids jumped—all because of the "touch of the Master's hand."

Today we desire to say "Thank You" to friends and neighbors who serve our community. Your "touch" on a child's life, your integrity in business, your help for a person in need, your protection, etc... You represent the grace of God who keeps watch over our city. We honor you today. May you feel the touch of the Master's hand in your life and through you to others.

This is week six in our study of God as the Creator of the form, man the bearer of God's form and creation reflecting the good form of God's image. In the second section of our book Reformers Creed, we look at God the Just Judge of the distorted form, man bearing that distortion, and the effect on creation.  Because  man aligned himself with the likeness of a distorted form (the Usurper-Liar-Accuser called Satan) God provided a means to restore us to His own image, and through us Re-form the earth.

Questions we might ask ourselves include the  following:

What is my image of God? How do I think of Him? Do I think about God? What do I feel about God's thoughts toward me? If God is good and loves me and places worth and value on me enough to send His only Son whom He loves to restore me to Himself,  does this affect how I view others and treat them? Do I value   myself and honor others as created in the image and likeness of God?

How do I show value for what God made? Am I a good representative in how I tend and guard and release  potential in people and things and the earth itself? What kind of house or rearing place am I making for God?

Finally, how do I show value for God's Word? Reading, meditating, studying and applying God's word brings blessing:  God created by His Word, holds things together by His Word, judges creation by his Word, and Jesus is the Word made flesh among us. How I value God's Word reflects how much I value Christ himself.  

Our hope is that we will grow in the knowledge of God and his word to us. We will bear his image in the earth. And by His grace we will create a culture of honor, affirmation, appreciation for others. The touch of the Master's Hand reveals the true value and image of God. Let Him choose you, lift you up in His presence, tune you and use you as his worship, releasing creativity, beauty, courage and hope.   -PD

Affirmation, Gratitude, Esteem create
a Godly Culture of Honor

Intern Melissa Camenisch’s thank you to CLC on Graduation Sunday August 7, 2011

There are so many things I could say to you about these last two years, but I felt like the Lord wanted me to thank you and affirm you all for what you have done for me this year. One because I am just so grateful for you and two because of what PD was talking about last week, creating a culture of honor. He said “when we honor one another God is honored, the atmosphere around us changes and His Kingdom comes.”

I want to thank you all for making me feel so loved and welcomed. I remember when I first moved here two years ago being very skeptical and unsure of what it would be like to attend a different church than the one I had been in my whole life. And I remember those first few months here I was really moved and touched with the openness and love you had for me as an individual; however, not only for me but for each other and the community around you.

I have learned so much while being here with you all. You all have taught me a lot about how important it is for us as the church to get outside of the building and reach out to the people around us. Thank you all for helping me be able to go to a whole different level of learning what it means to be a sister, daughter and granddaughter because you all treated me as such.

You loved me and fed me. You prayed for me and encouraged me. You hugged me and cared for me. You teased me and laughed with me (and you know how much I love to laugh). I enjoyed every minute of it.

I am so happy and excited to be going home, but you must know that I am not going back the way I came and a lot of the reason is because of you all. You are some of the most loving and precious people I know. I will miss you all. And I will never forget your kindness to me, and your Christ like example to me-the way you give and give and don’t expect anything in return. You lay your lives down daily for others. I know this because I myself am a recipient of your lives.

Melissa is a member of Covenant Church in Winchester, KY. Her parents attended our church school many years ago and sometimes came over to Richard McAfee’s parents’ house to clean it for them – the very same house which Melissa often helped clean during the past two years while living with us.