Anger Choices Determine My Heritage and Harvest

Anger Choices Determine My Heritage and Harvest

by Dwight Cunkle 

    Sixteen years ago I brought home The Anger Workbook to use in family meetings.

 We still joke about what a disaster it was. However, if I had been able to lead us through the principles of 

managing emotional choices we’d have handled frustrations and relationships better.

     In dangerous or abusive situations, fight or flight is the right choice. However, in most daily life situations 

we can either choose to act out our anger in aggressive and potentially harmful ways; or, we can choose to act

 in assertiveness yet with sensitivity to the other people involved. This choices are rooted in the following: 

1. How we feel we have been treated: Have I been abused, or actually trained how to manage my emotions 

in healthy ways? Either way healing and forgiveness are hard. I can receive mercy and grace by giving it. 

2. How we see others: If pride controls me I may see others or their opinions as inferior to mine. If I feel 

inferior to them I either play the one-up-manship-game, in order to feel better about me, or I may shut-down 

verbally or emotionally. How do I see those who irritate me? Is it my job to “fix” them or their work? 

Really!?!?

3. How we see ourselves: Is my self-worth based in God’s love and purpose for me-that I bear God’s image 

or on my performance? What kind of person do I want to be, regardless of if others actually change?

Exchange Bad Harvest for Good Heritage: God gave His Son because He values us as his sons and 

daughters, regardless of my circumstances and performance. We can bring our frustrations to Jesus at the 

cross, like a bad harvest. In repentance ask for what Christ will say and give in it’s place. (Phil 2 Christ already 

exchanged himself for us and has a better heritage to give). 

This is #13 in the series on The Anger Trap: How to free ourselves from the frustrations that sabotage life and relationships, based on the book by Dr. Les Carter. To see the back entries go to Covenantlifechurch.com and click on our blog “Pastor’s Corner.”

The “Right” to a Happy New Year Comes When I Exercise the Privilege to Forgive

The “Right” to a Happy New Year Comes When I
Exercise the Privilege to Forgive

by Dwight Cunkle 

based on The Anger Trap by Carter

Forgiveness and acceptance reduce anger. Don't cling to fantasies expectations and demands about your right to be treated fairly let alone squarely. Anger is fed by your “shock reaction.” You must guard your heart against any bitter root negativity and bad expectation or they will grow with in you like a bad seed and branch out into a poisonous plant.

Instead, choose to change your responses. To avoid bitter fruit in your life you can choose the privilege of acceptance and forgiveness. They are not a duty forced on you as if you were a victim or martyr. You can choose to bring your pain and disappointment to the cross of Jesus Christ. He paid for our sins and provides healing for our wounds in his own.

Assertiveness doesn't always generate the results I desire; in fact, it can backfire. But, by bringing my conflicts to the cross I can trust the love of God to guide me in making good choices. Forgiveness and acceptance reduce anger, especially because some conflicts remain unresolved satisfactorily. My insistence on having my way, my rights, or even closure entrap me and trip me up in the foul mood of unresolved anger. On the other hand assertiveness can be walked out with love for others while we can still be firm in our choices and boundaries.

I am in control of my choices, especially how I respond when others react or ignore my desires. Bitterness is a choice but acceptance and forgiveness is a better choice. As we sow shall we reap. God's grace is given to the humble; His mercy to the merciful.

Choose forgiveness and acceptance and choose to have good boundaries at the same time. You will have much more happiness and peace.

What do you most want this New Year?

OLD TESTAMENT PROPHECIES OF MESSIAH AND THEIR FULFILLMENT IN THE NEW TESTAMENT

OLD TESTAMENT PROPHECIES OF MESSIAH AND THEIR FULFILLMENT 

IN THE NEW TESTAMENT

This fulfilled the prophet’s prediction… Matt 2:15

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem…  

Gal 4:4 NIV

    Each day this week I encourage you to read aloud from prophecies below, along with their fulfillment.  No other religion has the miracle of God’s Word.  Only the One, True, God of Gods, revealed His purposes through prophesy, then perfectly fulfilled them.  Faith comes by hearing the word.  Your faith will grow this Advent, as you believe, obey and fulfill the puposes of Messiah in your life.  In this way, we prepare for His second coming.  Thy Kingdom come.  Thy will be done.  Come, Lord Jesus.

Who:  Emmanuel, God with us—Is 7:14 & Lk 2:21
           Branch of Jesse: Gen 49:11; Is 11:1-2; Jer 23:15; Jn 15:1-2
    (Branch also means Nazarene, fulfilled in Matt 2:23)
           of the tribe of David: Ps 89:35; Lk 1:69, 2:11; Rev 22:16
           Lion of Judah, root of David: Gen 49:10 & Rev 5:5

Why:  He would come: Savior—Matt 1:21; Heb 2:9-17; and Lord,
bringing the kingdom of God Dan 7:13-14;
    Ps 110; Mt 4:17; Mt 28:18; Rev 5:10
    He would reign as Priest who saves: Zech 6:11-13;
    Heb 9:28; as Prophet bringing the Word of God:
    Deut 18:15; Matt 24; and King of Kings, Prince of Peace: 2 Sam 7:12; Is 9:6-7; Mt 2:2; Heb 7:15-17

What He would do: To fulfill the covenant: Gen 3:15, 12:3, 17:7;
    Jer 31:31-34; Heb 8:12-13, 9:14-15
    “It is written of me in the Book”: Ps 40:6-7; Heb 10:7
   
Where from:  Bethlehem: Micah 5:2-4; Luke 2:4
    Egypt: Hosea 11:1; Mt 2:15
    Nazareth: Is 11:1; Mt 2:23

How born:  Is 7:14-16; Lk 1:26-35; Jn 1:14

When: John: Is 40:3-5; Lk 3:1-6; Simeon: Lk 2:25-30

With what signs: In sky: Zech 9:9; Num 24:17; Mt 2:2
    In manger: Is 7:14; Lk

PAIN ALSO SERVES A PURPOSE

PAIN ALSO SERVES A PURPOSE

By Dwight Cunkle

Part ten based on The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter

Last week we looked at “myths” that can cause unhealthy and anger-either hidden and passive or openly
aggressive.

Believing and demanding wrong ideals leads to disillusionment, vows like “I will never…” and bitter-root judgments which poison our interpretation of others.

“I need people to treat me fairly,” needs replaced with,“I can manage my anger despite others’ flaws.”
“Being forceful is a sign of strength,” can be replaced with “Gentleness and listening humbly show strength.”
“Accepting or showing weakness means defeat,” Can be replaced with, “Accepting mine and others’ weaknesses the maturity and emotional health I want.”

A key is to not build my self-esteem on what I think I deserve or what privileges to which I feel entitled. As we saw in this past election that always leads to anger and poor decisions. It is healthier to focus on my responsibilities which means I also need to face and accept pain. People who are often hurting others have probably not come to terms with their own inner agony.

Pain can have a redemptive purpose-protecting us from worse injury to ourselves and others.

The cross is the place for our pain since Jesus bore it. The cross is the place of exchange of our rights for his good.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.

Let pain bring you to Christ’s wounds. Come to Jesus’ side and ask healing from deep wounds. Ask grace to give and receive forgiveness.  Exchange life with Jesus.

SIGNS TO KNOW THAT GOD 

IS SPEAKING TO US

Comments from last Wed. night men’s meeting:

Our faith grows when we hear Holy Spirit opening God’s Word to us, inspiring us to action. Part of our discussion Wed listed signs we know when God is speaking to us:

[using the letter “c” but in no particular order]

1. Uncovering something covered (we sense God revealing something, unveiling, opening it to us) The Greek word from which we get “apocalypse” Rev 1:1 The Revelation of Jesus Christ; and Romans 8:19

2. Continuing awareness of a particular thought no matter what else is going on or being said (staying present)

3. Clarity of mind or action—our “knower just knows”

4. Convicting feeling or thought (guilt or motivation to speak or act; confronting something in or outside of us)

5. Consoling sense of comfort or assurance as our heart turns toward God with love or desire

6. Calming peace, rest in our souls that we are being led by Holy Spirit (Rom 8:6, 14)

7. Confirming words or circumstances line up like buoys

8. Contrary or conflicting idea with our natural mind, our mood, resistance from the devil, or what we want; Or it may bring us into conflict with others and their desires or view or even their words (#7 and 8 conflict with each other so we need other “C’s” to confirm God’s will).

9. Accountability—God provides spiritual authority and direction to help confirm that we are hearing Him.

10. Community, communion or fellowship, corporeity means being a body; ”no man is an island” obeying a  word from God builds unity in the end

11. Consistent with God’s word and nature

12. Charismata Greek word in 1 Corinthians 12 for spiritual gifts like words of wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, speaking in tongues, discernment of spirits, etc…

13. Courage, confidence to do what only is possible by God’s grace of faith, hope and love.

14. Calling God uses the above to call us to know Him, and to speak and do his will.

Please pick up a church directory for phone numbers and let us know if we can add your information or make a correction.

Choose from a number of different groups to study God’s Word pray and build relationships this Lent:

Weekly Wednesday night Men’s meeting:  Contact Pastor D or Richard about this is an open meeting at 7PM in the McAfee Library at CLC. Each week a different man brings a short Scripture or a chapter for us to meditate or contemplate quietly then share how God is present to us in His Word, or how God has been present to us that week.

Sunday morning adult class: 9:15 AM great discussion with Richard Lineberry, Mary Port and donuts and coffee 

Friday night women: Contact Mary Port or Wilma Cabaniss about this ladies group meeting two Fridays a month at Wilma Cabaniss

Young At Heart: Ask Dick or Karen Gale about this monthly meal (best food around) and for fellowship, singing and prayer.

NuThang: Ask Steven White, Kendra or John and Larissa Port about this young adult and older teenagers group meeting two Wednesday evenings a month.

Two bi-monthly Small Groups for Prayer, Sharing and building Caring Relationships

John and Mary Port lead a group two Wed nights a month at Vickie Hinkle’s

Robert and Linda Miller lead a group two Friday nights a month at their house

2012 God Present; pruning and producing: John 15:2