FORGIVENESS IS CENTRAL TO MAKE THE JESUS SHIFT

FORGIVENESS IS CENTRAL TO MAKE THE JESUS SHIFT

By Dwight Cunkle

Part eleven based on The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter

It shouldn’t take bone cancer to heal us
of relational cancer

     Like you, I have many memories of the agony of broken relationships which could have been avoided if we had chosen to learn how to practice assertive anger (truth in love). One example is the relational pain I had caused my sisters and I am sure my own parents by withdrawing from them, moving away, and being judgmental and self-righteous toward them. It was not until we shared the care of our father during his final weeks of battling painful bone cancer that I reconciled and began to feel close again to my sisters. In the days of dad’s lingering pain I felt the Lord say to me, “He is filling up the mystery of sharing in my suffering for my body.” His pain gave opportunity to heal our relational pain. But I had to make the “Jesus Shift” to acceptance and ask and receive forgiveness.

Anger and frustration comes in conflict not because we want to fight but because
we want closure and connection.

If your brother is offended at you go and try to make it right with him before trying to bring sacrifices to God (Mt 5:22-23) 

If your brother has sinned against you go to him privately and try to restore the relationship. (Mt 18:18-19)

      If we would just practice the two above Scriptures so much unnecessary pain could be avoided.

     Just as there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to express anger, there is also healthy and unhealthy guilt. Godly sorrow produces intense remorse over our sin and intense motivation to be forgiven and restored. This kind of agony is a gift of God’s mercy leading to true repentance.

     Bad guilt is condemning like shame. It leads us to turn inward but not deep enough-it only focuses on self. Narcissistic introspection won’t restore our soul anymore than blame and holding onto offense. Good guilt directs us to the cross and deep into the core of our spirit where Christ dwells. There He heals and restores.

     The peace which follows from this grace enables us to accept others, ask and give forgiveness. Especially in this season, may God grant us good guilt, reconciliation and peace.