Love Becoming and You Will Become Loving

 Love Becoming and You Will Become Loving

by Dwight Cunkle

______________  listed reasons to help herself make good emotional response choices:

 “If I choose bitterness I can make myself feel superior to ______. He wouldn’t change but I could quietly gloat over my higher reasoning. But by accepting, forgiving and overlooking I could stop keeping score of right vrs wrong; I wouldn’t feel so drained over petty things; I could move to more pleasant thoughts like appreciation and happiness.
 “If I choose to continue the same non-productive ways of anger I will feel more hopeless and hurt. But if I use “brave communication” to resolve conflict it will mean hard work and time and risking my feelings.
 “If I continue to use blaming “You statements” (You make me feel…) instead of taking responsibility“I statements (When you quietly ignore me like last night I feel of little value or importance like something on a bookshelf gathering dust,) I will regret not trying to resolve conflict and have better relationships.” 

     She faced the truth that forgiveness and acceptance don’t excuse other people’s bad behavior or remove pain. But she saw that by taking memories and feelings to the cross she could receive more of Christ’s perspective and power (mercy and grace). Best of all, she could grow in love. She could both receive God’s love and choose to act more lovingly toward others. In turn, Carol began to feel more love, freedom, peace and courage to continue this new way of responding uprightly.
     As her heart became more whole and her mind less cluttered, she could meditate and contemplate Christ instead of feel trapped in her wounds and regrets. She could begin to know what God is really like. She wanted to know Him more.
Sharing Jesus’ Pain: even though she was changing others may not, could not or would not. She couldn’t “force them to change.” It was back to the cross….