BE ANGRY BUT DON’T SIN (PART THREE)

BE ANGRY BUT DON’T SIN (PART THREE)

 
By Dwight Cunkle

based on The Anger Trap by Dr Les Carter

The purpose of anger is to preserve or protect.

The problem with anger is that Sin enters when we act out angrily without respect or sensitivity to others. (Common sense dictates how we treat an intruder or enemy on the battlefield  but I am talking about normal day-today conflict resolution with people around us.)

Trained Incompetence—generational patterns of iniquity
Few people were trained how to handle anger and frustration in positive assertive ways during their childhood. Generational patterns of moodiness and self-protective reaction become entrenched like curses: “demolition derby arguing”, or passive aggressive behavior (“silent treatment” or “saying ‘Yes’ while meaning ‘No’,” procrastination, not finishing work, doing work without excellence, etc...).

Common excuses we use include: “that’s just the way I am,” or “if you had been treated the way I have…” or  there may be a physiological problem like a depletion of serotonin in the brain.The message many received is “just stop feeling that way,” instead of hearing, “tell me more about what happened and what might help.”

The model often was “do as I say not as I do.” We can tell a child their angry action was bad but are they imitating us whining, bickering or suppressing anger?

Then we grow up without being trained how to handle emotions: to slow down, listen, think and make careful choices in how to manage life’s challenges. We don’t realize that we actually need a “plan” beforehand about how to communicate and resolve problems. In most situations anger warrants careful exploration of cause and consequence but do we do it?

Contemplative Thinking:
No matter our age and experience we can choose to learn how to think differently about our feelings and make better choices., rather than just reacting on impulse and out-of-control. Then I can learn to discern the spirit-source/direction. 

Does my anger in this instant have a legitimate cause and do I have a way to communicate how I feel (not just attack)?

How can I respond in a way consistent with life goals, values and Jesus’ commands about relationships?